Tuesday, January 8, 2013

You deserve nice things

You deserve nice things. I promise that you do. I think you might not believe me, however. You see, if you're like me, then you don't make very much money at all. You're probably somewhere between upper lower class and lower middle class. We here in America suffer from the unique delusion that being poor or being a wage earner means you don't deserve nice things. I'll let Kurt Vonnegut explain this for me:
"America is the wealthiest nation on Earth, but its people are mainly poor, and poor Americans are urged to hate themselves. To quote the American humorist Kin Hubbard, “It ain’t no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.” It is in fact a crime for an American to be poor, even though America is a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk traditions of men who were poor but extremely wise and virtuous, and therefore more estimable than anyone with power and gold. No such tales are told by the American poor. They mock themselves and glorify their betters. The meanest eating or drinking establishment, owned by a man who is himself poor, is very likely to have a sign on its wall asking this cruel question: “if you’re so smart, why ain’t you rich?” There will also be an American flag no larger than a child’s hand – glued to a lollipop stick and flying from the cash register. Americans, like human beings everywhere, believe many things that are obviously untrue. Their most destructive untruth is that it is very easy for any American to make money. They will not acknowledge how in fact hard money is to come by, and, therefore, those who have no money blame and blame and blame themselves. This inward blame has been a treasure for the rich and powerful, who have had to do less for their poor, publicly and privately, than any other ruling class since, say Napoleonic times. Many novelties have come from America. The most startling of these, a thing without precedent, is a mass of undignified poor. They do not love one another because they do not love themselves."

This is from Slaughterhouse-Five. A letter was distributed to German POW camps warning them of how pathetic and self deprecating Americans were. In my work studying the subject, I've found Vonnegut to be spot on. This is why it's so hard for you to believe me when I insist that you deserve nice things. I could go on about how in European countries they get nice things like healthcare and quality education, but I'm not going to tackle such enormous problems.

I want to talk about ways to improve the quality of your life right now. Have you ever gone to bed at night right after changing your old bedsheets with ones you've gotten from the dryer? Do you remember what that was like? Crawling into a warmed bed, your body relaxing, sleep coming peacefully inside a blankety womb. That is what I do every night of my life. No, I don't toss all my bedsheets in the dryer then make the bed. I went out and spent $80 on an electric blanket. My wife would bring it up from time to time and I would dismiss the idea. It was a superfluous expense, $80 isn't the kind of money you just throw around. I did finally capitulate. Every night, 20 minutes before I go to bed, I preheat it. That's right, I PREHEAT MY BED EVERY NIGHT. I'm not a king, not a CEO, nor a congressman. I'm a teacher with 4 kids, which means money is tight. But that doesn't mean I don't deserve nice things, that the bed I sleep in shouldn't be a place in which I am truly comfortable. I deserve that. You deserve it. Next payday, go to your favorite big-box store, go to the bedding section and splurge just a bit. Give that to yourself and I promise you won't regret it.